← Days of Future Pastrami

“Ahh, to hell with it,” you frown. “I’ll just skip lunch for one day. Seriously, what’s the worst that can happen?”

As you walk away, stomach growling, the green-haired version of you fades and disappears. The purple mohawked version of you smiles, gives a big “thumbs up,” then falls backwards into a swirling portal. Birthday crisis averted.

Over the next several years, you are very successful. You get promoted to Senior Vice President of whatever it is your company does. You buy a tasteful craftsman style house and raise a beautiful family named “Most Beautiful Family” in Beautiful Family Magazine.

Your stomach gurgles a lot more than it used to, and you have a bit less energy than you once did. Doctors aren’t sure why. It isn’t really a problem, because your job doesn’t require a lot of intense physical energy, like if you became… oh, I don’t know, say, the leader a resistance army against a robot uprising. Yeah, ha ha, like that will ever happen!

(It happens.)

THE END