“Nothing will stop me from using a birthday coupon,” you declare.

“HOW ABOUT DEATH?” says purple mohawk you robotically, eyes shining bright red. Its jaw drops and a machine gun juts out.

Ratta-tat-tat! You instinctively leap out of the way of the machine gunfire. The glass windows in front of Vinny’s breaks! There’s no way that coupon is getting honored today.

The green-scalped you tries to fire the heavy-looking laser cannon, but it jams. Yes, laser guns can jam, and jam it does.

A swirling portal opens up. To dodge the gunfire, you leap into the portal!

* * *

It is the future. Everything… is bad. Buildings are crumbling. Dogs are shivering in the atomic cold. Vinny’s is now a distant memory. There are still churros though, and they’re pretty darn good actually!

Your head is being shaved by Glork, the mutant barber. You ask him for “the number 8,” which is replacing all your natural hair with green fibre optic cables. In an hour, you are about to take a trip into the future, to warn yourself about a very important sandwich.

THE END